IC inbox for Deerington

[morethan084]

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[lednikovyy]

[ He tilts his head to the side and makes a low rumbling noise. It's hard to find the best way to communicate like this, but he's as okay as he can be considering the fact that he's a bear. It doesn't hurt, but it is disorienting and even a little frustrating.

Now, at least, he's a little more comfortable with a friend around, even if he still feels so nervous about being around her. ]

[morethan084]

[Skye takes that as a "so-so", or maybe she's just assuming he's feeling the same way as her right now. Everything is complicated between them, and it's only being magnified right now.]

I'm sure it isn't permanent, I mean, remember that time we turned into dolls? That was...

[Probably not helping.]

[lednikovyy]

[ Time ticks on a little awkwardly as Bucky finds a corner to settle in and wait this out. He's been avoiding her for weeks, but now that he can't talk, he finds himself want to desperately.

After a while, he winds up dozing off curled up and when he startles awake again, he's got his body back, but apparently not his clothes. Cute, Deerington. Real cute.

He sits up and rubs his face. No big deal. He's just naked on the floor in Skye's living room. This is fine. ]

[morethan084]

[Skye wasn't going to kick him out of her house. He may not be able to communicate with her, but he clearly came here for a reason. She does have things she has to do though, so she ends up leaving the house for a while.

The thing that startles him awake is the sound of her closing her front door.]

Bucky? I'm back.

[Obviously.

She's expecting to see him as a giant bear when she turns into the living room.]

Oh.

[Look. Away.

Adverting her gaze towards the ceiling, Skye speaks up quickly.]

I, uh, I think I still have some of your clothes. I'll just...

[Quickly turning away, Skye goes to her room to grab the shirt and pants he had lent her when she was sick. Guess it's a good thing she hadn't returned them yet. Coming back into the living room, Skye holds them out in his direction without looking at him.]

Here.

[lednikovyy]

[ He grabs them and hastily climbs into the pants first. Being shirtless is something he can at least take his time dealing with, but no pants feels like an emergency. ]

Thanks. Sorry. I wasn't thinking about the whole bears-not-wearing-clothes part of that.

[ He gets the shirt over his head as he's speaking.

So. This is awkward. ]

[morethan084]

[Very awkward. Biting the side of her nail as he talks, Skye only looks when she can see out of the corner of her eye that he's dressed.]

I guess it wasn't permanent.

[Skye doesn't even know what else to say. The last time she saw him was at Chloe's party, and as soon as they locked eyes, he got out of there as soon as possible.]

[lednikovyy]

Guess not.

[ He huffs out a heavy breath and looks away. ]

Sorry. I'm sure you didn't plan to have a bear in your house all day.

[morethan084]

I didn’t plan on you being here at all.

[The words slip out before she can stop herself, and she breaks eye contact momentarily when she realizes what she’s said.]

[lednikovyy]

Right. 'Cause I'm...

[ His mouth twists oddly. ]

Are you okay?

[morethan084]

[Skye can't help but laugh incredulously when he asks that very loaded question.]

Seriously?

[Apparently with all of the mixed feelings she's having right now, anger and frustration decide to step forward.]

[lednikovyy]

I don't know!

[ He makes the gesture like he's trying to shove his hands into jean pockets, but of course he's wearing sweatpants, so it just makes the whole thing more awkward. ]

I hate that I hurt you.

[morethan084]

You know what really hurt?

[Spoiler alert: It wasn't him physically attacking her.]

The fact that you've been ignoring me for the past month.

[lednikovyy]

[ He can't quite make eye contact after that and he looks down, hands twitching at his sides. ]

I could have killed you. I really could have--I don't know what I would do if I killed you.

[morethan084]

But you didn't, Bucky.

[And maybe the only reason she wasn't dead was because of Pete, but does that really need to be said?]

That wasn't you and I know that. I'm not mad at you for what happened. I gave you your space, but do you know how hard it was to not reach out to you?

[She really doesn't want to cry again over this whole thing. Especially in front of him.]

You're the person I go to, to talk about these things. But this time I couldn't.

[lednikovyy]

I spent more than half of my life doing things I had no say over. Losing control like that just felt so much like all of that.

[ He still has vivid dreams of punching Steve to death on his worst nights. He wakes up covered in sweat and half unsure if it was real. ]

I thought I was safe to be around now and then I just lost it.

[morethan084]

And I can't pretend to imagine what that's like, but I don't blame you for what happened.

[Because Skye assumes that's a big reason for the way he feels. The guilt.]

I still trust you, Bucky.

[lednikovyy]

Maybe you shouldn't.

[ He looks up, searches out her gaze. ]

I don't know how to protect anyone from me.

[morethan084]

Well too bad.

[He should know better than most here just how stubborn she can be. She won't give up on Bucky that easily.]

I miss you, Bucky. I just want things to go back to the way they were before all of this happened.

[Skye is well aware of how selfish that sounds.]

[lednikovyy]

I miss you, too.

[ It's hard to say. He's really not the best when it comes to his own feelings, but he's missed his friend. She's one of the people he wants to talk to first about anything here and he's not sure what to do without that, especially not when Steve keeps showing up and disappearing again. ]

I'm sorry.

[morethan084]

Don’t.

[The lack of any kind of contact was terrible and she wishes he would’ve come to her, but she understood why he didn’t. She hopes she’s not pushing her luck by reaching out in an attempt to embrace him.]

[lednikovyy]

[ There's a moment when he really hesitates and then he just sighs and reaches out to pull her closer into a hug. This part he can do. He's much better at this part. ]

I might be an idiot.

[morethan084]

[As soon as his arms are around her, Skye embraces him tightly. At his comment about himself Skye can’t help but laugh a little, although it’s muffled into his shoulder.]

I’ve known that since I met you.

[She really isn’t ready to let go of him, but she probably should.]

Are we okay?

[Because, yes they’re hugging, but she needs to hear him say it.]

[lednikovyy]

I don't know.

[ He's not letting go, either. He's missed this so much. They've been friends for a while now and she's been such a steady friend and on Valentine's, he'd thought--maybe it's best not to go there right now. Just focus on their friendship first. ]

I hope so.

[morethan084]

I want us to be.

[Skye admits this as she pulls from the hug with some hesitation.]

[lednikovyy]

You know, after I almost killed Steve, I avoided him for two years, so I'd say I'm learning and growing as a person.

[ And though the smile he gives her is awkward, it's there. ]